I think that in the day to day activities of life, the realization is lost that all you've been blessed with could be gone in an instant. All it takes is one little second to forever alter your forever. And in that moment, you feel like nothing will ever be ok again. Your heart feels like it's shattering into a million tiny pieces. And although your body is still physically breathing in and out, you feel like your breath is caught and that maybe, by holding onto that breath, you can make the world wait for you for just a minute-wait for you to make sense of the madness crumbling around you.
But soon, you get back to the daily grind and everything starts to seem ok. You don't always feel like your heart is shattering into a million pieces. You learn how to breathe again. And I think that it is in this time when you forget the heart-wrenching pain of losing a great love of your life. Maybe it is your brain-maybe it is God's grace-that allows you to push that emotion down to the deep recesses of your heart where only God can see. And I think that that has to happen for you to be able to live again. Maybe God has to push the breath through your lungs to help you remember to breathe-and maybe God has to force the blood through your heart to make it remember to beat on its own. But you are alive-only by God's grace. You may feel like a piece of you died on that worst day of your life, but you are still alive. You learn that time does not heal all wounds. God does. And out of the blue, a word-a scene-a sound-a picture-a song-something will send you back to that feeling of utter hopelessness; of knowing that someone you love is gone and desperately grasping for them but having no control to bring them back. And all you want to do is curl in a ball and cry until every last tear has poured from your tired eyes. It is in times like these that you remember how blessed you are and you remember to thank God for what He has given you-you remember to tell your family that you love them with everything you have. You wonder how on earth anyone could go a day without telling their family they love them or how they could treat them so horribly-you want to yell at the top of your lungs "What are you doing?! They could be gone right now and you can never get them back!"
And then, you get back to the daily grind and everything seems ok. You don't always feel like your heart is shattering into a million pieces. You learn how to breathe again. And you may start to forget to thank God for who He has blessed you with and you may forget to tell them you love them.
Tell the people you love that you love them. Take every opportunity God gives you with that person to learn from them and love with them. We will see the ones we've lost one day in Heaven, but now-right now-cherish them. One day on earth away from them feels like an eternity.
My sweet family, I love you with everything I have!
